Flush that excuse...

Wordplay and Witticisms: Pigs were put in bags and sold in medieval markets. Unscrupulous sellers would dupe their buyers by replacing the pigs with large cats. A buyer figuring out the ploy inspired this phrase...from the game: Orijinz (answer at the bottom)


My current writing soundtrack: Elevator music...I am babysitting a friend's eight week old baby. He's asleep and I am desperate to keep it that way!


Have you started writing yet? Did you set a time or word count goal, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem? Did you carve out a stretch of time to sit down, ala pantalones flambé, and type furiously?

No time, you say? Think again…

In his book No Plot? No Problem, National Novel Writing Month organizer Chris Baty says “being busy is good for your writing”. Yes, you read correctly – being busy is good for your writing! Here’s why:

Grab an apple and don a Newtonian thinking cap…an object in motion tends to stay in motion. So if you are all ready busy, adding another thing isn’t that big of a deal. You are all ready going at mach 5 - 1,001 to-dos are not that different from 1,002, right?

Yes, I know you would like to slap me right about now, but bear with me...

Baty believes that having to carve writing time out of your myriad of other obligations makes it a “treat”, something exciting and special to do for yourself. Whereas, if you have loads of time to write (at a writer’s retreat for example), suddenly writing is an obligation. Now, don’t get me wrong, writer’s retreats and long stretches of time to work on your novel have their place, but it is not when you are composing your first draft. During first draft craziness, you need to just light your pants and fingers on fire and go like mad, something more easily done when you know you are working on finite writing time, snatching moments here and there.

So, sorry, one excuse decidedly flushed down the toilet…Crazy busy? Running like mad? Going in twelve different directions? Good for you – now get to writing!

Wordplay and Witticisms answer: The cat's out of the bag

Pantalones Flambé!

When it comes to writing, I have found the "pantalones flambé" approach to work best. I am no expert, hence the term "aspiring" author, but I like to just sit down and write, pounding the keyboard with abandon, tying strings of words and phrases together...I like to write as if my pants are on fire. "Pantalones flambé!" is my war whoop.

Other people prefer to plan: character sketches, plots, sub-plots, etc. I am a perfectionist and a neurotic planner - not a good combination. I become paralyzed with research and planning. When I am writing, brackets are my best friends. If I am missing information or need to do research, I throw in a set of brackets and keep right on typing. That way, I can obsess and lose absurdly long stretches of time researching AFTER my first draft is complete.

Find what works for you and don't be afraid to think outside the established "rules". The most important thing is to just get that first draft down...whether you do that by following an outline, a rough sketch or by the seat of your pantalones flambé, just do it!